Spoken word by Leeka Lowndes

Abandoned a soul seeks to find a lead
To present a heart of which is in need
Desperation, confusion, without knowledge of why
I am to seek who I am alone and despised
At a cross road I stand of which to chose
To obtain of my life into my own hands
Or to offer myself unto a life with a plan

I see a glimpse of my past
My brother left to choose
Father or mother this is up to you
I feel pain as she begins to pack and leave
A young boy is to rise, take ownership and lead
Son, raise your sister and father her well
Learn and rise quickly there’s no time to dwell
Here is the call but where is your heart
Once was whole is now broken apart
Growing and stumbling both at the same time
So hard to now leave what has made me behind?
For years on end I’ve yearned and longed to be
The same as every girl who calls her daddy in need

But still something within continues to search
A tangible presence and something of worth

IPods’, make-up, jewellery the works
Material possession reflects on your worth
Diamonds and jewels and the money you make
I’ve learnt that love is to give at first and then take
Waves of trends fazes does and shoes
Prices we pay to put ourselves on display
Image distorted and portrayed by the value of your clothes
The fearfully and wonderfully you once created disposed
See we lack in substance but chase the fast life with ease
Adoring worthless possessions and praising useless deeds
See I too was searching for something of substance
Something that I could not only feel, something real, fulfilling, desirable to others
Taking over that emptiness covered in darkness

Again I glance at my past from childhood to youth
For years on end trying to please men
Expectations of others seemed a sleep away
But who was I to please everyone had their say
Opinions, suggestions, comments and direction
To mark out a lane for me to walk in deception
Endless, timeless, sleepless nights,
I found myself captured by what was in front of my eyes
Conversion to change exchange and to switch
My life from the valley and bottomless pit
Such an invention my mind has formed
A circus of evil to entertain and perform

And I’ve met a man who abused, defiled and ate away at my soul
And every bite was so tasty in an instant I was sold
My body to slavery, my mind to captivity, my heart to the one who comes to rob, steal, kill and destroy

Then on a normal day just like now
An up roaring spirit within arised
He has been defeated now open your eyes
To not of which you see your circumstances around you
But lift your eyes to me I am HE of wise counsel
In an instant scales dropped before my eyes
The shadowed lies I once forced myself to believe
Made wings so strong to do away and flee
Truth entered darkness, emptiness made whole
Mis-conception now broken, truth revealed, the lips of the enemy sealed to no longer mis-lead, and devour away at my soul

I jumped on the train adventure unknown
What ticket did I purchase?
What seed had I sown?
I looked back at my friends only to find few
But this is what I’d been searching, I had nothing to lose
And this is my choice and I admit I’m not perfection
That is why I yearn for his understanding and direction

Like a prescription I begun to taste the sweet nectar of LIFE
Something no man, possession or thing in this world could satisfy
And I share this with you brothers and sister’s fathers and mothers
Kings and queens of nations to rule
Lose your life in the midst of HIM
For this is truly where life begins

Angelica Lowndes